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Evan, what kind of ‘constructive feedback’ did you give when asked? I’d be suspicous of someone’s motives for asking such a question.

Use that scientific discovery to your own advantage, by starting your email with a “Hello [Username]” and not a non-specific “Hi.” If you want to create a feeling of warmth, shorten their name, use its initials, or create a nickname based on one of their interests. Everyone loves to read about themselves, so don’t begin your message by launching straight in about you.

Instead, start by saying what caught your eye about their profile.

Anyone who’s ever dated online has had that moment – the blinking cursor, the empty text box, the racing heart, and the brain so temporarily empty, it has tumbleweed running through it. Make yourself a soothing cup of tea, and we’ll talk about how to do it right.

This is basic, but sometimes daters forget that the first thing a match will do when they receive an interesting email is click on the profile of the person who sent it.

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What do you do when you hit it off with someone in an email correspondence and in phone conversations, and then when you meet you find them unattractive? The only reason I see fit to offer my thoughts is if someone asks for genuine constructive feedback.

It’s not the kind of thing you can just come out and say, “I didn’t feel the chemistry,” because it means you didn’t like how they look. Some photos are just not how people really look, and while I don’t think they are misrepresenting themselves, it creates a problem. And if they ask, they can’t be too hurt if you tell.

I blow off thee quickly, at a wrong turn of phrase. By hiding after saying, “I’ll talk to you soon.” By calling during thy lunch break at noon. I know you’re asking the question because you’re trying to be sensitive, but face it – you can’t be too sensitive when you’re dating.

No, for the most part, the first dates that don’t turn into second dates are all going to fall under the umbrella of “lack of chemistry.” So what’s the value of discussing it?

It’s simply not nice, especially since it’s only one person’s opinion.

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