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Operator: That's one thing people do when they have an erection.

And that will focus the brain elsewhere, and you will lose your erection.

Jill: So you actually wrote that one girl looked like she was "hurtin' for a squirtin'"? Andy: Who the--Who the **** are you to put me on trial? So why don't you back the shit off, all right, and stop with the inquisition? Andy: You know what I don't have to answer to you, you ain't my bitch.

Jay: My girlfriend Jill found your speed dating card.. God, I've been looking for that speed dating card; thank you so much for bringing it to me. Jill: You are never gonna meet anyone with that kind of mentality about women, you sick son of a bitch! Jill: You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert.

Jay: Let me apologize to you, first of all, for not mentioning in detail that when you pick up a drunk woman who's falling down on her way out of the bar that you should probably drive. Andy: You know what, I'm not the only person in the world who rides a bike. Mooj: When your son is born, is he already in parole?

Schwinn-****ing-Armstrong, who asked you to drive a bike?

It's not about rainbow showers and camel-toe slide, and your Cincinnati bowtie, your Arabian goggles or the hot carl and pearl necklace, or pussy juice cocktails, and the jagged-head dildos, and the double-decker pussies. Why do you always come in and kill the vibe with those things?!

Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombone, and dirty sanchez.

I can't let you be talking to my woman that way, dawg. Operator: How much of the medicine have you taken, sir?

Andy: Hi, yes, I'm calling because it's more than four hours and your ad said to call if it's been more than four hours.

[Mooj has found out Andy is a virgin; extended DVD version] Mooj: Andy, don't let them bother you.

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