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" asks the model and journalist Veronica Webb, who admits to having known such men."Women become an addiction for these men, and it becomes like being addicted to a drug you can't get high on anymore.Their first two albums, "Forever My Lady" (1991) and "Diary of a Mad Band" (1993), along with several hit singles like "Lately," a remake of the Stevie Wonder song, have sold a total of six million copies.

"My Mom wrote y'all a letter, and she wants to know why y'all are always talking about freakin'," she asks, using a slang term for acting lewd. The four were raised in North Carolina and separately traveled around the South on the gospel circuit.

Even the group's first hit, in 1991, "Forever My Lady," was a lush ballad.

But once an artist becomes a sex symbol, a whole new personality develops.

Before, you might have had to say clever things and do sensitive things in order to gain a lady's attention.

In the parlance of black culture, Jodeci are players: playboys and street-smart businessmen.

A player can also be called a mack or a pimp, even though he doesn't necessarily earn a living as such.

Critical to his success is what is called his game, the persuasiveness of his manner of talking and carrying himself. That don't make us players, though." Yet they embrace the player esthetic on stage.

The player is an archetype in black popular culture. celebrates in "One More Chance." The player esthetic informs much of contemporaryrhythm-and-blues. At a recent performance at the Apollo Theater, De Vante appeared wearing a fire-red wide-brimmed fedora, an homage to a style favored by pimps in the early 1970's.

As much as we glorify it in music and movies and dress and attitude and everyday language, the whole relationship seems vacant." Detractors would doubtless say that the relationship is misogynous.

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