Too ugly for online dating

“Hey gurl, luv ur pics” is not going to get a response.More likely to get a response: A message that is directly responsive to several things in the object of your affection’s profile.Online dating: It is not that hard, and yet so many people make it so hard.

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We all want to get laid and we all have our sexual proclivities, and if we like something in particular we may mention it on our dating profile.

But even if there’s a recognition that we, like almost every other adult human being, sometimes enjoy having our genitals touched, there’s no need to go all porno upon first introduction. Until you’ve gone actual porno in real life, leave the porno-chat alone.

If you’re sending a message, the recipient already knows you’ve looked at their pictures and find them attractive.

So instead of stating the obvious (“you look like a small child and I enjoy sexing small children”), point to what it was that attracted you to their personality (or at least the fragment of their personality that they put on the internet).

Funny is good, but if you are not actually funny, don’t strain anything trying to be.

Straightforward and nice is infinitely better than trying to be funny and failing miserably. There are lots of reasons why someone might not message you back. Now have patience, or set your sights on one of the 10,000 other single people in your area.You would think “don't be a dick” would be obvious, but there are apparently legions of people (mostly dudes) who adopt crappy pick-up artist tactics in their online dating lives, and think they might get lucky by sending vaguely (or blatantly) insulting messages to unsuspecting recipients (negging is actually a thing! Is there some low-self-esteem lady out there who might respond to a message about how ugly she is?Sure, maybe, but the odds are slim — and since this is the internet, even women who have been strongly socialized to be nice to cretins in bars are able to hit the delete key.The beauty of internet dating is that we all get to specify what we want.Respect that and don’t waste anyone’s time – including your own.Responding to a few items in a person’s profile will take somewhere between three and eight sentences; if you find yourself writing a six-paragraph missive, work that delete key.

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